Anguish
by UndeadDolly
Summary: "When you befriended me in the meadow, I came back the next day and I saw sunflowers blooming everywhere."


**Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Ghoul.**

**Warning: Kaneki/Hide.**

**Note: Enjoy.**

**Summary: **"When you befriended me in the meadow, I came back the next day and I saw sunflowers blooming everywhere."

Chapter One

For their anniversary, Hide had bought a mansion. It wasn't a modern-day mansion, but a historic mansion from a family of nobles who once served kings and queens. He had the mansion renovated, with the latest appliances for everyone's convenience. He kept the mansion's furniture still, since they were antiques and already went well with the layout.

There was another reason Hide had purchased the mansion, though. He was pregnant, except he hadn't told Kaneki. He figured moving away from the city would make Kaneki keen on the idea of having children, when they both settled into their country home and had the chance to relax. He knew Kaneki was against having children because of his childhood, even so he wanted to raise a family with Kaneki and have heirs to their multimillion-dollar companies.

There were many people who thought that they were just rich snobs. They thought that especially of Hide, considering he came from a longline of wealthy businessmen and women. They weren't aware of Kaneki's situation, that the young man was a bastard child of an elderly businessman and only inherited his father's fortunes as there were none other who could. It was confidential information, as Kaneki feared competitors would try to use his childhood against him or Hide. It seemed like Kaneki was ashamed of his childhood, to a certain degree as he couldn't understand why Hide would marry someone like him.

"Isn't it just lovely?" Hide smiled, jumping into Kaneki's arms, kissing his husband on the cheek. "It's wonderful, isn't it?"

"Of course," Kaneki smirked, looking outside, at the dead and dry garden of the mansion. "First and foremost, I want sunflowers planted right away."

"It won't be our home, not without your sunflowers."

"They remind me of a certain _someone_."

"I wonder who this _person_ could be."

"_You_ know who."

"Could it be _me_?"

"Cute."

"Charming."

XOXO

They moved in that afternoon. It was a tiring ordeal, that Hide gave his employees the task of unpacking tomorrow morning. A sigh of relief came from his maids and butlers, the lot scurrying off to the servant quarters soon enough. A good thing he had everyone's bedrooms prepared in advanced, so they had a place to sleep after unloading boxes and boxes from the trucks.

He crawled into bed beside Kaneki, who tucked a sunflower behind his ear. He simply smiled at the gesture, just accustomed to waking up in a bed full of sunflowers at this point in their marriage. He was aware that they were Kaneki's favorite, though he didn't know exactly why. He didn't feel comfortable prying into Kaneki's childhood either, considering he was afraid of bringing up painful memories. He didn't want to overstep boundaries, especially ones that there was no point in crossing.

He leaned closer to Kaneki, his lips captured in a kiss. He released a low moan, when his thighs were squeezed. His nightgown was pushed up, legs lacing in a hurried manner around Kaneki's frame. His hands frantically tugged at Kaneki's belt buckle, tossing them aside and aligning himself perfectly underneath Kaneki. Their bed creaked and croaked, echoing throughout the entire mansion. Their lovemaking was always so_ blinding_, themselves being the only ones who existed during these times of passion.

"You're so beautiful," Kaneki sighed, looking down at Hide, the one who had found him in a dead meadow of flowers, but befriended him in his time of despair. "I love you so much."

"And I love you," Hide smiled, lost in haze of the present, not knowing Kaneki's mind was so far away. "I always will."

"I don't doubt that."

"You stole my heart."

"You stole mine first."

"We're just meant to be."

"I'm glad, then. I wouldn't want anyone else but you."

XOXO

He woke up before Kaneki, but because of morning sickness. He ran to the bathroom, with a hand clamped over his mouth. He barely had time to shut the door, when he vomited into the toilet. He didn't want Kaneki to hear him, just the thought of Kaneki finding out about his pregnancy in such way unnerved him. He knew Kaneki was against having children, especially being a father most of all. He would bring up the matter in a joking situation sometimes to Kaneki, though he never seemed to change Kaneki's mind.

He needed some fresh air, the balcony being the closet source of so right now. He clutched the railing tightly, his knuckles turning white as he did so. He peered down at the gardens, knowing that they'll be blooming with sunflowers soon enough. He was flattered at the idea, however he wondered why Kaneki kept comparing him to a sunflower. He was aware of several flowers which were also yellow, nevertheless there was something that made sunflowers special.

He gasped in surprise, as arms coiled around his waist from behind. He laughed and relaxed into Kaneki's embrace, not ready to head back inside yet. He preferred a day of leisure, still he needed to make a home out of the mansion. He could spare a few more minutes with Kaneki, hoping that their peace would remain undisturbed for many years to come. He loved Kaneki so much, although he was understanding and accepted that his love couldn't fix whatever happened in Kaneki's past.

"Do you remember when we first met?" Kaneki asked, kissing Hide's neck, right above Hide's fluttering pulse. "It seems so long ago now, but our lives changed after that day."

"I haven't forgotten," Hide admitted, being turned around, as Kaneki hugged him in a desperate and dire manner. "I would never, darling."

"Do you recall where, though?"

"It was in a field of flowers, but they were all … dead."

"You weren't like the others, the other wealthy and well-off students at our school. When you befriended me in the meadow, I came back the next day and I saw sunflowers blooming everywhere."

"And I thought that the only reason you compared me to a sunflower was because of my hair color."

"Well, I think that plays a role, too."

"Thank you for telling me, 'Neki. I know I've joked about your appreciation for sunflowers, but I've never meant any harm by it."

"Silly, I know that."

"You're so good to me. I hope I am to you."

"You are in so many ways, that you don't even know."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

XOXO

He strolled through the garden, where he came across a large oak tree. He stepped closer to it, when he saw a swing hang from one of the branches. He swayed back and forth in the air, his bare feet brushing the leafy forest floor. He smiled and stared at the greenery, to raise his child around nature rather than the hustle and bustle of a city was so comforting. He placed a hand on his stomach and sighed, as he wondered whether Kaneki was being pressured into becoming a father.

He heard crumbling of leaves, the footsteps of someone behind him. He felt _cold _hands on his lower back, that sent a shiver down his spine. He was given a few pushes, with more force he could ever muster alone. He was going higher and higher, but the height was frightening him. He wanted to be back on solid ground now, or he'll suffer another bout of morning sickness. He voiced his concerns loudly, so he may have sounded a bit harsh for his liking.

The ropes on the swing were grabbed, abruptly sending him falling off it. He landed on a pile of leaves, fortunately cushioning the impact. He looked up and saw Kaneki standing before him, though with a worried facial expression. He was helped onto his feet and fussed over, nevertheless hugged and held for a while. He was cradled and carried in Kaneki's arms, although he hoped Kaneki didn't notice a difference in his weight.

"What were you thinking, Hide?" Kaneki fretted, eyebrows knitting together, his grip on Hide tightening. "That swing isn't safe. It's so old and could've snapped at any moment."

"What are you talking about?" Hide frowned, clutching Kaneki's shoulders, for a sense of support and balance. "You were pushing me on the swing."

"I would never, not until we get a safer and sturdier swing on that tree for you."

"Well, I felt _someone _pushing me."

"It wasn't me, nor any of the servants. We were unpacking boxes. I went looking for you, when I realized you'd been gone for too long."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I must've imagined it all, then."

"I'm sure you're just stressed from the move. You just need to rest."

"I suppose you're right."

XOXO

He lay on the sofa in-between Kaneki's legs, with his head resting on Kaneki's chest. He breathed in Kaneki's cologne, such a calming and comforting scent for him. He was being a bit clingy, but he had a horrifying experience in the forest. He felt so naïve, to let himself on a decrepit piece of wood hanging from a tree. He had been so close to harming himself, as well as his unborn child. He needed to be more careful from now on, or risk losing the future he's been working so hard for.

He was dozing off, when he heard the television turning on. He curiously followed along, the news covering a recent purchase of a haunted house. He suddenly sat up, his home being displayed on the screen. He placed a hand over his mouth, not aware his home was the site of several brutal murders. He couldn't help crying, too overwhelmed with emotions after learning of the events that transpired in his home.

He was pulled into an embrace, though he was a wreck. He hated having Kaneki see him as such, however his husband was merely amused. He couldn't understand what for, considering the history of their home. He supposed Kaneki was just realistic, especially since his husband didn't believe in things that he couldn't see. He was more suspectable than Kaneki, nevertheless he couldn't have imagined whatever happened to him in the forest now. He shivered at the thought, recalling _cold _hands pushing him from behind on the wooden swing.

"It's alright," Kaneki chuckled, stroking Hide's hair, wiping away his tears. "Don't worry, darling. Every house has a history, but whatever happened is in the past."

"I don't know …" Hide croaked, crawling on Kaneki's lap, who held him without much of a complaint as usual. "I just don't like the thought of _murder _happening in our dream home …"

"If you'd like, we can have the house blessed."

"I thought you didn't believe-"

"I don't, not anymore. I know you find comfort in belief. And I just want you to feel safe."

"I guess we could do that …"

"I'll have that arranged for tomorrow morning, then. Oh, I'm aware you're a curious cat, but I strongly advise against digging up the things that happened in this house. It'll just scare you more than you already are, so save yourself from any more troubling thoughts taking seed in that pretty head of yours."

"I promise I won't …"

"There's nothing to fear, though. After all, I'll protect you."

* * *

**A/N:** What do you think? Leave me your thoughts.


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